His and Hers: The compromise of combining households

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The big moment happens: two people fall in love, decide to move in together and thus comes the test of true love — combining your furniture and tastes. With a few basic rules to keep in mind, you’ll be able to have more fun than stress when going through this rite of passage.
 
Rule No. 1: Both of you need a voice in the design. 
 
One of you cannot be a design bully. A home needs to represent everyone who lives there. How do you do that? Start by hitting the internet and both of you choosing five inspiration photos of rooms you like and your top 10 house priorities. Do this on your own and do not influence each other. Now, before you show each other, remember both of you are right. It’ll be about coming up with a master plan and baby-stepping towards it as time and budget allow. And keep in mind you don’t have to live with something forever. (This is coming from the woman who lived with her husband’s Homer Simpson green sofa with a phone and heated seats for a year.)
 
Rule No. 2: You make a pact that the room tells you what gets to stay. 
 
It’s like picking the perfect hair cut for your face. Just because a cut looks great on a celebrity doesn’t mean it’s the right one for you. Same thing with décor. Just because something worked well in your last space doesn’t mean it is the right fit in the new environment. Don’t be scared to bring in outside help. Interior designers are often used as an unbiased party that gives the tough love as to what items work best for a space. Remember you can hire a designer for just a one-hour consultation to come in as a design Judge Judy.  
 
Rule No. 3: You can’t mess with family memories.  
 
If an item is a warm fuzzy for one of you then, out of love, you make it work. Now if everything is a memory, then we have a design intervention. Take a few photos for an album and then set those items free to have a fresh start with someone else. My personal trick is to watch an episode of Hoarders: Buried Alive. You very easily will start to see these are just things.
 
Rule No. 4: Don’t be wasteful.  
 
Give your furniture and décor a chance to help someone else. If you have items that don’t work, you can either sell them or donate them. If you’re going to try and sell the large items, whether at a garage sale or on Craigslist, you need to know you will never get the full value. Once you come to terms with that, then it will be a much easier process. Some money is always better than nothing and even small sales can add up into a new piece that you purchase together.  
 
Also, there are a lot of amazing organizations that will give tax write-offs, and your donations will go to giving others a chance at having a home. Habitat for Humanity’s ReStore website states: “Just because they’re called landfills doesn’t mean we need to fill them up. Don’t throw it away — let us put it to good use!” My personal favorite is Amethyst Place, where the women get to keep all of their furniture and décor once they graduate from the program. Or have a garage sale and donate that money to the Ronald McDonald House or your charity of choice. 
 
Rule No. 5: Have fun
 
It all comes down to perspective. If you approach the process of combining households with a good attitude, it will be much easier to pull off. Design is a luxury in life and, in the big scheme of things, it’s just furniture. Remember, the whole point is to have a new beginning together.

Comments

crazysony's picture

The idea of moving together is great until you decide to carry your staircase from the old home.My boyfriend did this as he liked a lot the staircase that he had in his old house and he decided to install it in our new house.I hate it and I don't know how to tell him to throw it away and to build another one.

crazysony's picture

When planning your engagement it is very important to take in account certain aspect like moving together and combining households.It is very important to discuss about this in order to avoid unpleasant situations.

I wish more authors of this type of content would take the time you did to research and write so well. I am very impressed with your vision and insight.
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morisgrace's picture

I've just moved with my boyfriend and the idea of combining households scares me as I like to have my own stuff and i don't really like to share it.We've started to renovate the house and I bought some great Bathroom Vanities that my boyfriend doesn't like.Our tastes are very different and it will be very hard to buy something that we both like.

morisgrace's picture

When two people decide to move together they have to make some compromises.I will move the next week with my fiance in a new house and we started to renovate it.Even if we have pretty different tastes we finally agreed in many aspects such as buying some windows Louisville KY and the color of the walls.The idea of combining households is great and normal.

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joay111's picture

All the contents you mentioned in post is too good and can be very useful. I will keep it in mind, thanks for sharing the information keep updating, looking forward for more posts.Thanks
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Thank you for this tips. I've recently had a fight with my fiance because of the custom staircase. She wanted pink, and I, of course, wanted blue. It's extremly hard for us to give up against each other for something we like.

zahid12's picture

I really like it! I'll always appreciate your brief sharing in this awesome stuffs sincerely,this discussion has put light on this topic.
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With some thai massage tips in your mind, you can steal some of the best places in house for your little pleasures. It works all the time!

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Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info.
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Thank you for this interesting and helpful post.I think that if you want to make a good job you should Do it yourself bathroom because you know your own taste and design desires better than anyone else but of course you can consult your friends or family and compare your opinions.

crazysony's picture

This is a quality post that has to be read by all those young couples who want to move together.I've just moved with my fiance in a small apartment from a historic district and I tried to convince him that even if we don't have too much space I want to take my households as I am accustomed to use those specific items.

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crazysony's picture

This is a great post! I've recently bought a vacation house in a beautiful village and I am planing to go there every weekend with my boyfriend.We still have to change some things there such as windows and we want to install some solar panels. Moreover we want to create a modern interior design and my sister recommended me some eco friendly trends that are great.

crazysony's picture

I am planing to move with my boyfriend and we already bought a nice apartment in the center of the city. We want to decorate it in a romantic style and I've bought a big bed with a comfortable mattress.Moreover if you want to transform your bathroom and to create a romantic environment than you should definitely buy a large jacuzzi with lights and music.

morisgrace's picture

When you decide to move with your loved one than you should be prepared to do some compromises in order to be happy together. When I moved with my boyfriend we established some rules and made a lot of compromises in order to avoid problems. He wanted to paint the house in red and white, I chose a special Lighting for small Bath and I installed three mirrors in the bathroom. I don't like red color very much and he doesn't like to have so much mirrors in the bathroom but we had to do these compromises in order to live happy together.

Yes I am agree. Here you have suggested the real situation between his and hers. But the main thing in front of this is that both will always remains happy after making compromises.
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opaler's picture

All these tips sound very nice and they're really common sense, but combining households is not as easy as find wholesale welding supplies at USWeldingSupply.com because most of the time our egos will get in the way. Each person wants to have a bigger say in what goes and what stays and things can get delicate quickly.

I really appreciate this post. IGenerally I do not read article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to check out and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, very great post.
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leodan77's picture

When I moved in with my girlfriend, we decided we wouldn't argue about what to keep, so we redecorated the house from scratch. We agrees that Lighting EVER LED Lights would be cheaper and more eco-friendly, and that windows should be large, to let the light in. It all went better than we expected.

leodan77's picture

I found these great ideas at James Décor the other day and I can't wait to show my girlfriend. It would probably be the third time we redecorated since we moved in together.

rdokoye's picture

I think the best situation is for you to have your partner move in with you, rather than you moving into a home together, that way all these kinds of issues are settled beforehand. - Robby Dobson

I would like to say that this blog really convinced me to do it! Thanks, very good post.
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leodan77's picture

In the long run, redecorating wasn't the biggest hassle involved by moving in - it was reconditioning. We had to redo the piping and the air conditioning, and, thankfully, we had a lot of help from the guys at McCrea. I don't see how we could have done it without them.

leodan77's picture

And I forgot to mention we minimized our costs by ordering online, and buying cabinet handles from Jako.biz. We really got off easy this time. I hope nothing else breaks soon.

leodan77's picture

I think we had our first argument after we finished the interior, actually. We couldn't agree on whether to install snow guards so we decided for the coming winter to prove who was right.

leodan77's picture

There are a lot of realtors who sell wholesale houses, so moving in together isn't a big problem nowadays. But, yeah, 'combining households' can be difficult if you don't know how to compromise.

leodan77's picture

The latest news says we were very inspired to move in together, as my girlfriend's pregnant now, an we're preparing the house for the new resident. We managed to find swing set add ons at SwingforSwingSet.com, so the yard is all set, for when he's a little older.

roger1122's picture

Great post, I’m looking forward to hear more from you!!
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roger1122's picture

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Jools's picture

I didn't realize I was moving in with my boyfriend until our friend Ricky Aranda called to congratulate us. I kind of panicked then, because it was a big step, for me, at least; I was really used to having my own privacy, my own rules regarding my place and I pretty much did the same thing when we moved in. I was lucky to only get away with a pint of fake beer in the living room, but the rest was up to me.

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Janice's picture

It's easier said than done, frankly. My boyfriend and I are two proud Aries and we always fight when it comes to establishing a territory. I told my friend Gwen Johnson that if it weren't for an apartment to sit in, we'd definitely be fighting out there in the woods. Luckily, our love is stronger than our stupid rage and we manage to accept each other's opinion.

If you two put your ideas together then you would be able to find out the best design that suits both of you. There are plenty of online outlets from where you could buy your items, for instance, DesignerDrains.com is the best place to find beautiful decorative drains.

opaler's picture

I enjoyed reading this, but you got me thinking bout my dad. He's been a widower for more than 15 years, and still hasn't found anyone, despite trying all kinds of dating for seniors, and going out to meet people. I hope there's someone for him out there too.

Chanelle's picture

For me, the best moment when it comes to moving is when you're both sitting by the yard, looking at your soon-to-be home. That's it. Once you enter the place and you start debating on whether that old dirty sofa should stay or not, hell breaks loose. I am lucky I have a calm understanding boyfriend, but nonetheless, even he wanted to keep his student objects. What a pest...

its_me's picture

I think when two people decide to live together they should learn to make compromise, giving each other the due respect would help them design a beautiful home which suits both of them. However, if you are relocating to a new region then you should make a list of the service providers available there. I have recently relocated to Minneapolis and I have found a great garage door repairing service provider idc-automatic, they also manufacture garage doors.

imwilliam's picture

It is easy to create the perfect home for you two if you just learn to cooperate with each other. You do not have to run here and there to look for a service provider for your home, you can find most of them online. For instance, if you need affordable and beautiful flooring solutions, check out www.ropposchbrothers.com/.

opaler's picture

I think the supreme attainment of a great relationship would be combining households like the people at Allstate did, seamlessly. But this is only possible between people who really love each other and accept anything that comes to them.

You can really find some good interior decoration ideas online, there are blogs which offer tips and guidelines on this subject. If you search online you can also find different service providers for your home, I found garage door repairing service provider online at rwgaragedoors.com/.

its_me's picture

I think when two people move in together they should be mentally prepared to make compromises. It would be better if you two discuss likes and dislikes of each other before proceeding. I think you should hire a service provider for decking up interiors. For my home I found the solutions I needed from MCI, they are also available online at www.mcicarpetone.com/.

zane1122's picture

Thanks for sharing the post.. parents are worlds best person in each lives of individual..they need or must succeed to sustain needs of the family.
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imwilliam's picture

What you two should do is to learn about each other's likes and dislikes. When you think of a plan together you would be able to have a hassle free moving experience. However, you have to be careful about the flooring, you should opt for reputed flooring companies like Great Southeast Flooring America.

Jools's picture

I don't understand what's with this doctrine. If you guys both love each other, then these things don't even matter. Trust me, when moving in with your boyfriend, the last thing in your mind is where to put the vase from mom. Take it easier, girls, they;re just as nervous as you are!

When you two decide to move in together, just make sure that you consult each other before selecting the place. You can certainly make this a fun process if you give each other the necessary space. If you are moving to a new house then make sure the house has no cracks or leaky windows, if it has any problem area just call an efficient repairing service provider like Allstate Des Moines.

its_me's picture

This is really a tough decision for a couple to start living together. It would be better if you just do some home improvement so that the old place could become absolutely new for both of you. I recently hired Classic Home Center for my home improvement need and they did a fabulous job, you can contact them online at http://classichomecenter.net/.

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