Love is Strange... And dating in the modern age is even stranger

Dating in the 21st century is hard.
 
Although we have multiple ways to meet, communicate with, flirt with and break up with boys, the biggest dating hurdle in the modern age may in fact be that we are all too available.
 
Thanks to sites like Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare, it’s nearly impossible to refrain from spying on a guy you’re interested in, which takes a lot of the mystery and excitement out of the game of love. In 1995, you could tell yourself that you haven’t heard from a boy because he’s busy with work. But today, when you see him tagged in a bunch of photos with his buddies — or worse, with another girl — you’re deluding yourself if you think you’re not being blown off. Nowadays, nobody leaves home without their cell phone, or goes more than a couple of days (or a couple of hours) without checking their social media.
 
In order to demystify today’s single man, we gathered questions from a bunch of our girlfriends and sent them to our Bachelor Panel, comprised of three single guys: Carson, a twentysomething actor/model; Brent, a thirtysomething yoga instructor; and Jim, a fortysomething vice president of communications. We were curious to see how their answers would differ according to their age group. Do younger guys share more with their friends about their sexual conquests than older guys? (Yes, so beware!) Do guys like it when a girl asks them out? (Younger guys do, but only if they’re already into her.) Is pubic hair preference age-specific? (Um, you’ll have to read on.)
 
They promised to answer honestly, even if the truth hurts. And it does, sometimes.
 
Guys Always Say That They Don’t Want To Take A Girl Out Who Won’t Eat Dinner, But They Don’t Like Fat Girls. What Are We Supposed To Order When We’re On A Date? — Caitlin, 27
 
Carson: “It’s pretty simple: Don’t order a salad, but don’t order the most expensive steak on the menu and devour every piece of gristle on your plate. Go somewhere in the middle — the chicken dish is always a safe choice.”
 
Brent: “I always say, ‘Order anything you want,’ and I mean it. Just chew with your mouth closed and don’t finish 20 minutes before I do. Don’t overanalyze what you are eating. Going out to dinner involves a certain amount of indulgence in the first place, so eat what makes you happy that night.”
 
Jim: “If I’m taking you to dinner, it’s because I want to buy you dinner. Order whatever you want.” 
 
If A Guy Makes Plans With You And Gives Some Lame Excuse To Cancel At The Last Minute, Should You Give Him Another Chance? Or Are You Getting Blown Off? — Amber, 24


Carson: “You’re probably getting blown off most of the time, but it’s probably for a decent reason … like a more attractive girl. Or maybe he’s actually just too tired from work. I’d give him another shot if he seems worth it. If not, set up another date, and then bail on him.” 
 
Brent: “You are being blown off 90 percent of the time. If he wanted to see you, then he would have blown off the other plans.”   
 
Jim: “If his excuse is truly lame, you are getting blown off. If a guy doesn’t want to see you and can’t come up with an excuse that isn’t lame, you’re better off without him.”
 
Every Women’s Magazine Says That Guys Like Girls Who Look Natural, But Most Of Us Look Like Shit Without Makeup. Do You Really Care About How Much Makeup We’re Wearing Or Would You Rather Us Look Good? — Elizabeth, 32
 
Carson: “Yes, we do care about how much makeup you wear. If you’ve spent more than 15 minutes doing your makeup, you probably look like a clown from up close. If I hug you and immediately half of your face comes off on my shoulder, we have a problem.” 
 
Brent: “Yes, please, wear as little makeup as possible. Some is fine, but no caked faces.”
 
Jim: “The only thing we notice in the makeup department is too much or not enough. While I don’t read women’s magazines, I suspect that their definition of looking natural means a touch of this and a dab of that. You know more about makeup than we do, so just take it easy — don’t go all Snooki on us.” 
 
So, Everyone Waxes Now. Do You Prefer A Woman With A Brazilian Or Are You Just Excited To See A Vagina? Would It Gross You Out If A Girl Isn’t Perfectly Groomed? — Kate, 31
 
Carson: “I don’t think anyone is excited to see a vagina — let’s be honest, they’re hideous. Whoever nicknamed it a flower was probably drunk and high. With that being said, please, at least shave. Waxing is up to you; it doesn’t make a difference to me.”  
 
Brent: “Vaginas are awesome. No doubt. Brazilian is fine. Well-groomed is totally acceptable, as long as it’s not in the shape of your ex-boyfriend’s beard. No guy wants to search for your pleasure spots through the unkempt garden; those spots are hard enough to find, anyhow.” 
 
Jim: “You know how guys are always talking about boobs, like it’s some kind of obsession? You know why? Boobs are the gateway drug to the most magical place on earth. LOOK, A VAGINA! I’M EXCITED! Of course we are excited to see your vagina. Always. Every time. No matter the grooming technique. I had a girlfriend who had a really clever way to find out what I preferred in the personal grooming department: She asked me. As she said, ‘You’re the one that’s going to be looking at it.’ Try that.” 
 
Would You Rather Get A Call Or A Text From A Girl When You’re Making Plans To Meet Up? — Erin, 28
 
Carson: “Texting can be fun, until I realize I had to text you back 79 times in one day. Limit your texts and call when you have something to say that can’t fit in 160 characters.”
 
Brent: “One good phone call to set everything up is still what I prefer. Texts in the meantime are fine. Don’t text too often too early; needy women text all throughout the day, confident and secure women text occasionally, when it is important and/or relevant.” 
 
Jim: “Text. I hate having to talk into my texting machine.”
 
Do Guys Facebook Stalk As Much As Girls Do??? (Because We Do. A Lot.) — Meg, 32
 
Carson: “I’m 99 percent sure the first thing every single guy does when we accept a friend request is immediately search for beach/pool/bathing suit pictures. Have to see you at your best before we try to meet you in person, right?”
 
Brent: “Yeah … it happens. It’s more like a vetting process when we do it, though. We don’t care so much about what other guys are posting on your wall as much as seeing if you write pointless updates that no one should care about.”
 
Jim: “More.”
 
What Do Guys Really Think About A Girl Who Has Sex With Them On The First Date? Would You Go Out With Her Again? — Christine, 33
 
Carson: “If I have sex with a girl on the first date, I’ll probably agree to disagree that she’s a smidge slutty. Would I go out with her again? Depends on how the sex was.”
 
Brent: “Hmmm, that’s a tough one. It’s situational, really. I would question how often you have sex on the first date and be a little turned off, [but] I’ve also had a year-and-a-half relationship that started that way. Your best bet is to keep me wanting more.”
 
Jim: “I always assume that a woman who has sex with me on the first date only did it because she was so overwhelmed by my charm and wit that she couldn’t help herself, which makes it my fault, which means it has no bearing on whether or not I go out with her again.”
 
How Much Do Guys Tell Their Friends About The Girls They’re Having Sex With? Do They Give Specific Details About A Girl? — Shannon, 34
 
Carson: “My group of friends shares just about everything about the girl they’re having sex with. If you have a mole on your butt, my friends will probably hear about it.” 
 
Brent: “Not much at all — in high school, maybe. We may tell one friend about something crazy that happened, but in general 30 is too old to brag like a 16-year-old.”
 
Jim: “I never give details to my friends. I think it’s tacky.”
 
If You’re Not Into A Girl That You’ve Been Dating, How Do You Handle It? What Kind Of Red Flags Should We Be Looking For? — Laney, 39
 
Carson: “Slowly stop responding to her and obviously don’t invite her out on any more dates. After a while she will probably just stop talking to you. Or, it could all blow up horribly, and she will call you out. Yeah … probably that second one.”
 
Brent: “Plain and simple. If the woman is the one always initiating conversation, then the dude is only into her enough to establish dominance and have the occasional late-night booty call.”
 
Jim: “If his level of communication noticeably drops off, consider it a red flag. For instance, if he’s always answered texts right away, and suddenly it takes hours, if at all, it’s time to move on.”
 
Would You Date A Girl That Is Considerably Older Than You? Younger? — Allison, 44
 
Carson: “At this point, considerably older seems a safer way to go. Plus, think of all the things they’ve learned along the way. If I date a girl considerably younger, I’ll be looking up state laws for consent — seems unsafe.”
 
Brent: “Not much older at all. In the long term, I would like to die before my wife! At 30, 24 and above is acceptable, but preferably 26 to 34. Once again, unusual circumstances can always arise that bend these parameters.”
 
Jim: “I would and I have.”
 
What Do Men Think About A Woman Who Asks Them Out? — Karen, 48
 
Carson: “Thank God. Finally we can stop pretending it’s the 1930s. Do it. I’d probably say yes, just because they’re bold enough.”
 
Brent: “Totally fine … if I liked you in the first place!. If you get the feeling you are dealing with a shy dude, try it out. Women need to know what those butterflies feel like at least once or twice in their lives.”
 
Jim: “If it is someone I’m interested in, I think it is great. If it is someone I’m not interested in, I find it incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Generally speaking, I’d rather do the asking.”
 
As we suspected, dating is never one-size-fits-all, fortysomething men are a bit more mature than their younger counterparts and we should probably get that mole on our butt removed. We also need to scour our photo archives for a bikini pic from the early 2000s so we can Instagram it...